Resilience

You cry yourself to sleep at night thinking that no one will ever notice
You wish you were more than this broken child,
this broken person inside
when yet you’ve overcome so much pain inside;
There’s no running away from a broken childhood
no matter how adult you have been made and become;
I too am broken,
so shattered inside
My resilience has gotten me so far in this life
I grew up with a flaming beast of a mother
whose actions shall forever leave me scarred;
I grew up in a world with a bunch of thrown stones
from children whose wish was my very death;
My family stood by and made the pain worse,
but my resilience comes from the inside not out;
My screams were silent for many years and I had no one to talk to,
nobody cared;
You say you cry yourself to sleep at night?
I did that too;
I cried every night from when hell started all the way to seventh grade
and nobody ever noticed;
I broke up fights on a daily basis
and I brought home the scars to prove it
but even that wasn’t enough to show my resilience;
I was the victim
and I became a vacant stare for many more years;
After my brother was trapped in his Alcatraz hospital,
I went from victim to survivor of this broken doll’s life;
I went from a beast, a freak, a demon, an animal, and even a monster
to just being ignored by the world;
Not a soul gave a damn about me until I entered high school:
four people from there and soon to be three are all I have in that second home;
Soon my ultimate world shall start baring its cracks,
my ultimate world will shatter into a million pieces of glass;
All the shards will be stained red from my veins,
all of my resilience will be just a waste;
But it’s not the matter I care to hold onto,
for my resilience is the savior of this “wise fool.”